In orbit, Landing

How did I convince myself that life was you,

that you alone would save me from myself

when nothing could be farther than the truth

when you were farther from the truth, and me.

Why was I not able to deduce

from all my heartache and the pain

that it was bad for me to love you for so long

that it was futile to recount, to hope

that one day you will see me hover

and reach out for love, for life.

I hovered in your sphere and thought

I basked in light much brighter than my own.

It made me love myself again,

I can't deny you that, but then I hovered

like a starship in perpetual orbit 'round your head,

never landing, never getting in,

and oh, what a hopeless hopeful I had been.